For as long as parenting goes back, it’s always been a natural phenomenon. Wanting a child of our own is a biological, sociological and psychological need or desire, but a kid’s future is something we never plan for enough. At max, the best of the planning involves possessing enough financial resources to bring the child in the world, to be able to take care of her educational needs. But is that enough?
As grown-ups, we have this belief that we know better for our child, that we know what’s right or wrong for the child, and that we have enough parenting experience cascaded down on us by our parents to nurture the child.
Consciously or unconsciously we are hardwired to behave a certain way in specific situations, to react a certain way to peculiar situations. We believe if we appear afraid to our child, she will see our weakness; that if we are not stern and infuriated towards indecent behaviour, she will not take us seriously.
What parents think and say about their children means a great deal and goes a long way shaping their cognitive and emotional abilities.
Nobody wants to know or believe that he or she could do anything wrong for their child. But how are we sure about it when we have never ever been a parent before or a parent to that particular child before? If we haven’t been in a particular situation before as parent, how do we know what we do is the most appropriate action that could have been taken. We don’t, right?
Our reactions to situations are uncertain, natural and based on our experiences as how our parents behaved with us, or how people around us behaved as parents or children.
In the process of parenting intuitively, we forgo that our intuition may not be radical. For every new dish you cook, or every new project that you take charge of, you prepare yourself with all the research that you can, you learn from others’ experiences, you take apt and relevant learning sessions.
Bringing up a child is literally about a ‘new’ life, as natural as this is, the best that we can do for our children is making sure that we do not impose our inhibitions or insecurities on our children. The minimum that we owe to our children that we accept them for who they are and help them become the best version of themselves, that we help them love themselves and their identities. For that, we need to understand ourselves, we need to get acquainted with our intrinsic thought process and come to terms with our impulsive behaviours; we need be true to ourselves and the person who we are sharing this responsibility with.
Considering all this, I think it’s time that we bring in parenting schools into system; that we understand that parenting is a responsibility of lives for life and should be taken up responsibly. After-all, what we do or believe or practice or how we behave contributes a lot in shaping someone’s psyche.
After-all, parenting is not a child’s play!
P.S.- I am not a parent myself, but as a daughter and a may-be-someday-a-parent, I feel an obligation to share this. Do share your thoughts.